Daughters
Thursday, December 31st, 2009I’d have to say that kissing and hugging my children are the highlights of my life. The special little moments that happen, maybe not every day, but darn close. Bedtime has got to be a favorite of mine.
After L* is asleep. Breathing softly. Warm skin. The feel of her cheek under my lips. Silky and sweet. The nook where her nose meets her cheek. The sweet little nuckles of her hands. Sometimes I just put my nose close to their mouth and inhale the sweetness. I try to kiss her softly all over her face so as not to wake her. But it never fails. I can’t get enough and soon enough she shifts from all of my kisses.
Her legs. Her “baby” legs. I like to hold them with one hand while I drive her to school in the morning. I pretend I can’t find it and then squeal with delight when I rub on her skin. She laughs.
Her little antics. She’s my stubborn, girly girl. Twirly dresses, glitter lipgloss, no eye shadow. She’s into Tinkerbell (Tink), Cars (Lightneen Ba-kween), Dora, and Special Agent Oso (Madgenashen Oso).
Rubbing my daughter’s back when she is ill. Being the mother I envisioned. Nursing K* to a place most comforting in her illness. Getting a lukewarm washcloth for her head, crushed ice, holding her hair, cooling her neck. Washing her back and simply being there. Being there for her when she needs me. That is my great accomplishment. I could ask for no other. My hope is that I can provide enough for her to appreciate me and my efforts. To know that all I want in life is for her happiness, and her sisters’. For K to ask me to get things, that she likes when I rub her back because it “makes her forget everything that is painful.” Oh…it warms my heart.
It sweeps the dust from the corners of my heart when N* tells me “i love u” from her new phone. A phone that we decided to get for her safety. She’s such an appreciative girl. She’s the loving, affectionate gal. Genuine. Beautiful. Heart of Gold.
I relish in these moments and really need to hold on to them before they all get away from me. It is a rather difficult thing to do: hold on, yet loosen my grip so they grow to prosper as individuals. Yet another “evil” of parenting. Letting go.



